The End
All this was like the last crystal of salt thrown into a saturated solution； quickly， needle-like crystals began to appear， to grow more substantial and solid. It was all clear to me； the decision was made， and tomorrow morning I shall do it！ It amounts to suicide， but perhaps then I shall be reborn. For only what is killed can be reborn.
Every second the sky twitched convulsively there in the west. My head was burning and pulsating inside； I was up all night， and I fell asleep only at about seven o"clock in the morning， when the darkness of the night was already dispelled and becoming gray， and the roofs crowded with birds became visible...
I woke up； ten o"clock. Evidently the bell did not ring today. On the table—left from yesterday—stood the glass of water. I gulped the water eagerly and I ran； I had to do it quickly， as quickly as possible.
The sky was deserted， blue， all eaten up by the storm. Sharp corners of shadows... Everything seemed to be cut out of blue autumnal air—thin， dangerous to touch； it seemed so brittle， ready to disperse into glass dust. Within me something similar； I must not think； it was dangerous to think， for...
And I did not think， perhaps I did not even see properly； I only registered impressions. There on the pavement， thrown from somewhere， branches were strewn； their leaves were green， amber， and cherry-red. Above， crossing each other， birds and aeros were tossing about. Here below heads， open mouths， hands waving branches... All this must have been shouting， buzzing， chirping... Then—streets empty as if swept by a plague. I remember I stumbled over something disgustingly soft， yielding yet motionless. I bent down—a corpse. It was lying fiat， the legs apart. The face... I recognized the thick Negro lips， which even now seemed to sprinkle with laughter. His eyes， firmly screwed in， laughed into my face. One second...I stepped over him and ran： I could no longer... I had to have everything done as soon as possible， or else I felt I would snap， I would break in two like an overloaded sail...
Luckily it was not more than twenty steps away； I already saw the sign with the golden letters： "The Bureau of Guardians." At the door I stopped for a moment to gulp down as much air as I could， and I stepped in.
Inside， in the corridor， stood an endless chain of Numbers， holding small sheets of paper and heavy notebooks. They moved slowly， advancing a step or two and stopping again. I began to be tossed about along the chain； my head was breaking to pieces. I pulled them by the sleeves， I implored them as a sick man implores to be given something that would， even at the price of sharpest pain， end everything forever.
A woman with a belt tightly clasped around her waist and with two distinctly protruding， squatty hemispheres tossing about as if she had eyes on them， chuckled at me：
"He has a bellyache！ Show him to the room second door to the right！"
Everybody laughed， and because of that laughter something rose in my throat； I felt I would either scream or...or ...
Suddenly from behind me someone touched my elbow. I turned around. Transparent wing ears！ But they were not pink as usual； they were purplish red； his Adam"s apple was tossing about as though ready to tear the covering...
Quickly boring into me： " What are you here for？"
I seized him.
"Quickly！ Please！ Quickly！ ...into your office... I must tell everything... right away... I am glad that you...It may be terrible that it should be you to whom...But it is good， it is good...."
He， too， knew her； this made it even more tormenting for me. But perhaps he， too， would tremble when he heard ...And we would both be killing ... And I would not be alone at that， my supreme second...
The door closed with a slam. I remember a piece of paper was caught beneath the door， and it rustled on the floor when the door closed. And then a strange， airless silence covered us as if a glass bell had been put over us. If only he had uttered a single， most insignificant word， no matter what， I would have told him everything at once. But he was silent. So keyed up that I heard a noise in my ears， I said without looking at him：
"I think I always hated her from the very beginning ...I struggled...Or， no， no， don"t believe me； I could have， but I did not want to save myself. I wanted to perish； this was dearer to me than anything else...and even now， even this minute， when I already know everything...Do you know that I was summoned to the Well-Doer？"
"Yes， I do."