Her origin's lowly, it's true, But of birth and position I've plenty;I've grammar and spelling for two, And blood and behaviour for twenty!
Her origin's lowly, it's true, I've grammar and spelling for two;CHORUS.Of birth and position he's plenty, With blood and behaviour for twenty!
SOLO--LORD MOUNTARARAT.
Though the views of the House have diverged On every conceivable motion, All questions of Party are merged In a frenzy of love and devotion;If you ask us distinctly to say What Party we claim to belong to, We reply, without doubt or delay, The Party I'm singing this song to!
SOLO--PHYLLIS.
I'm very much pained to refuse, But I'll stick to my pipes and my tabors;I can spell all the words that I use, And my grammar's as good as my neighbours'.
As for birth--I was born like the rest, My behaviour is rustic but hearty, And I know where to turn for the best, When I want a particular Party!
PHYLLIS, LORD TOLL., and LORD MOUNT.
Though her station is none of the best, I suppose she was born like the rest;And she knows where to look for her hearty, When she wants a particular Party!
RECITATIVE--PHYLLIS.
Nay, tempt me not.
To rank I'll not be bound;
In lowly cot Alone is virtue found!
CHORUS.No, no; indeed high rank will never hurt you, The Peerage is not destitute of virtue.
BALLAD--LORD TOLLOLLER.
Spurn not the nobly born With love affected, Nor treat with virtuous scorn The well-connected.
High rank involves no shame--
We boast an equal claim With him of humble name To be respected!
Blue blood! blue blood!
When virtuous love is sought Thy power is naught, Though dating from the Flood, Blue blood! Ah, blue blood!
CHORUS.When virtuous love is sought, etc.
Spare us the bitter pain Of stern denials, Nor with low-born disdain Augment our trials.
Hearts just as pure and fair May beat in Belgrave Square As in the lowly air Of Seven Dials!
Blue blood! blue blood!
Of what avail art thou To serve us now?
Though dating from the Flood, Blue blood! Ah, blue blood!
CHORUS.Of what avail art thou, etc.
RECITATIVE--PHYLLIS.
My Lords, it may not be.
With grief my heart is riven!
You waste your time on me, For ah! my heart is given!
ALL.Given!
PHYL.Yes, given!
ALL.Oh, horror!!!
RECITATIVE--LORD CHANCELLOR.
And who has dared to brave our high displeasure, And thus defy our definite command?
(Enter Strephon.)
STREPH.'Tis I--young Strephon! mine this priceless treasure!
Against the world I claim my darling's hand!
(Phyllis rushes to his arms.)
A shepherd I--
ALL.A shepherd he!
STREPH.Of Arcady-
ALL.Of Arcadee!
STREPH.Betrothed are we!
ALL.Betrothed are they--STREPH.And mean to be-ALL.Espoused to-day!
ENSEMBLE.
STREPH.THE OTHERS.
A shepherd IA shepherd he Of Arcady, Of Arcadee, Betrothed are we, Betrothed is he, And mean to be And means to be Espoused to-day!Espoused to-day!
DUET--LORD MOUNTARARAT and LORD TOLLOLLER(aside to each other).
'Neath this blow, Worse than stab of dagger--Though we mo-Mentarily stagger, In each heart Proud are we innately--Let's depart, Dignified and stately!
ALL.Let's depart, Dignified and stately!
CHORUS OF PEERS.
Though our hearts she's badly bruising, In another suitor choosing, Let's pretend it's most amusing.
Ha! ha! ha! Tan-ta-ra!
(Exeunt all the Peers, marching round stage with much dignity.
Lord Chancellor separates Phyllis from Strephon and orders her off.
She follows Peers.Manent Lord Chancellor and Strephon.)LORD CH.Now, sir, what excuse have you to offer for having disobeyed an order of the Court of Chancery?
STREPH.My Lord, I know no Courts of Chancery; I go by Nature's Acts of Parliament.The bees--the breeze--the seas--the rooks--the brooks--the gales--the vales--the fountains and the mountains cry, "You love this maiden--take her, we command you!"'Tis writ in heaven by the bright barbed dart that leaps forth into lurid light from each grim thundercloud.The very rain pours forth her sad and sodden sympathy! When chorused Nature bids me take my love, shall I reply, "Nay, but a certain Chancellor forbids it"?
Sir, you are England's Lord High Chancellor, but are you Chancellor of birds and trees, King of the winds and Prince of thunderclouds?
LORD CH.No.It's a nice point.I don't know that I ever met it before.But my difficulty is that at present there's no evidence before the Court that chorused Nature has interested herself in the matter.
STREPH.No evidence! You have my word for it.I tell you that she bade me take my love.
LORD CH.Ah! but, my good sir, you mustn't tell us what she told you--it's not evidence.Now an affidavit from a thunderstorm, or a few words on oath from a heavy shower, would meet with all the attention they deserve.
STREPH.And have you the heart to apply the prosaic rules of evidence to a case which bubbles over with poetical emotion?
LORD CH.Distinctly.I have always kept my duty strictly before my eyes, and it is to that fact that I owe my advancement to my present distinguished position.
SONG--LORD CHANCELLOR.
When I went to the Bar as a very young man, (Said I to myself--said I), I'll work on a new and original plan, (Said I to myself--said I), I'll never assume that a rogue or a thief Is a gentleman worthy implicit belief, Because his attorney has sent me a brief, (Said I to myself--said I!).
Ere I go into court I will read my brief through (Said I to myself--said I), And I'll never take work I'm unable to do (Said I to myself-said I), My learned profession I'll never disgrace By taking a fee with a grin on my face, When I haven't been there to attend to the case (Said I to myself--said I!).
I'll never throw dust in a juryman's eyes (Said I to myself--said I), Or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise (Said I to myself--said I), Or assume that the witnesses summoned in force In Exchequer, Queen's Bench, Common Pleas, or Divorce, Have perjured themselves as a matter of course (Said I to myself--said I!).