书城公版RUTH
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第5章 CHAPTER I(5)

She almost thought she ought to mention it in her letters home; but then she remembered the premium her father had struggled hard to pay, and the large family, younger than herself, that had to be cared for, and she determined to bear on, and trust that, when the warm weather came, both the pain and the cough would go away. She would be prudent about herself. What was the matter with Ruth? She was crying in her sleep as if her heart would break. Such agitated slumber could be no rest; so Jenny wakened her. "Ruth! Ruth!" "Oh, Jenny!" said Ruth, sitting up in bed, and pushing back the masses of hair that were heating her forehead, "I thought I saw mamma by the side of the bed, coming as she used to do, to see if I were asleep and comfortable;and when I tried to take hold of her, she went away and left me alone--Idon't know where; so strange!" "It was only a dream; you know you'd been talking about her to me, and you're feverish with sitting up late. Go to sleep again, and I'll watch, and waken you if you seem uneasy." "But you'll be so tired. Oh, dear! dear!" Ruth was asleep again, even while she sighed. Morning came, and though their rest had been short, the girls arose refreshed. "Miss Sutton, Miss Jennings, Miss Booth, and Miss Hilton, you will see that you are ready to accompany me to the shire-hall by eight o'clock." One or two of the girls looked astonished, but the majority, having anticipated the selection, and knowing from experience the unexpressed rule by which it was made, received it with the sullen indifference which had become their feeling with regard to most events--a deadened sense of life, consequent upon their unnatural mode of existence, their sedentary days, and their frequent nights of late watching. But to Ruth it was inexplicable. She had yawned, and loitered, and looked off at the beautiful panel, and lost herself in thoughts of home, until she fully expected the reprimand which at any other time she would have been sure to receive, and now, to her surprise, she was singled out as one of the most diligent! Much as she longed for the delight of seeing the noble shire-hall--the boast of the county--and of catching glimpses of the dancers, and hearing the band; much as she longed for some variety to the dull, monotonous life she was leading, she could not feel happy to accept a privilege, granted, as she believed, in ignorance of the real state of the case; so she startled her companions by rising abruptly and going up to Mrs. Mason, who was finishing a dress which ought to have been sent home two hours before-- "If you please, Mrs. Mason, I was not one of the most diligent; I am afraid--Ibelieve--I was not diligent at all. I was very tired; and I could not help thinking, and, when I think, I can't attend to my work." She stopped, believing she had sufficiently explained her meaning; but Mrs. Mason would not understand, and did not wish for any further elucidation. "Well, my dear, you must learn to think and work, too; or, if you can't do both, you must leave off thinking. Your guardian, you know, expects you to make great progress in your business, and I am sure you won't disappoint him." But that was not to the point. Ruth stood still an instant, although Mrs.

Mason resumed her employment in a manner which any one but a "new girl"would have known to be intelligible enough, that she did not wish for any more conversation just then. "But as I was not diligent I ought not to go, ma'am. Miss Wood was far more industrious than I, and many of the others." "Tiresome girl!" muttered Mrs. Mason; "I've half a mind to keep her at home for plaguing me so." But, looking up, she was struck afresh with the remarkable beauty which Ruth possessed; such a credit to the house, with her waving outline of figure, her striking face, with dark eyebrows and dark lashes, combined with auburn hair and a fair complexion. No I diligent or idle, Ruth Hilton must appear to-night. "Miss Hilton," said Mrs. Mason, with stiff dignity "I am not accustomed (as these young ladies can tell you) to have my decisions questioned. What I say, I mean; and I have my reasons. So sit down, if you please, and take care and be ready by eight. Not a word more," as she fancied she saw Ruth again about to speak. "Jenny, you ought to have gone, not me," said Ruth, in no low voice to Miss Wood, as she sat down by her. "Hush! Ruth. I could not go if I might, because of my cough. I would rather give it up to you than any one if it were mine to give. And suppose it is, then take the pleasure as my present, and tell me every bit about it when you come home to-night." "Well! I shall take it in that way, and not as if I'd earned it, which I haven't. So thank you. You can't think how I shall enjoy it now. I did work diligently for five minutes last night, after I heard of it; I wanted to go so much. But I could not keep it up. Oh, dear! and I shall really hear a band! and see the inside of that beautiful shire-hall!"