THE FAMILY WERE WITHIN TWO OR THREE DAYS of their departure from Mrs. Todgers's, and the commercial gentlemen were to a man despondent and not to be comforted, because of the approaching separation, when Bailey junior, at the jocund time of noon, presented himself before Miss Charity Pecksniff, then sitting with her sister in the banquet chamber, hemming six new pocket-handkerchiefs for Mr. Jinkins; and having expressed a hope, preliminary and pious, that he might be blest, gave her in his pleasant way to understand that a visitor attended to pay his respects to her, and was at that moment waiting in the drawing-room. Perhaps this last announcement showed in a more striking point of view than many lengthened speeches could have done, the trustfulness and faith of Bailey's nature; since he had, in fact, last seen the visitor on the door-mat, where, after signifying to him that he would do well to go up-stairs, he had left him to the guidance of his own sagacity. Hence it was at least an even chance that the visitor was then wandering on the roof of the house, or vainly seeking to extricate himself from the maze of bedrooms; Todgers's being precisely that kind of establishment in which an unpiloted stranger is pretty sure to find himself in some place where he least expects and least desires to be.
`A gentleman for me!' cried Charity, pausing in her work; `my gracious, Bailey!'
`Ah!' said Bailey. `It is my gracious, an't it? Wouldn't I be gracious neither, not if I wos him!'
The remark was rendered somewhat obscure in itself, by reason (as the reader may have observed) of a redundancy of negatives; but accompanied by action expressive of a faithful couple walking arm-in-arm towards a parochial church, mutually exchanging looks of love, it clearly signified this youth's conviction that the caller's purpose was of an amorous tendency.
Miss Charity affected to reprove so great a liberty; but she could not help smiling. He was a strange boy, to be sure. There was always some ground of probability and likelihood mingled with his absurd behaviour. That was the best of it!
`But I don't know any gentlemen, Bailey,' said Miss Pecksniff. `I think you must have made a mistake.'
Mr. Bailey smiled at the extreme wildness of such a supposition, and regarded the young ladies with unimpaired affability.
`My dear Merry,' said Charity, `who can it be? Isn't it odd?
I have a great mind not to go to him really. So very strange, you know!'
The younger sister plainly considered that this appeal had its origin in the pride of being called upon and asked for; and that it was intended as an assertion of superiority, and a retaliation upon her for having captured the commercial gentlemen. Therefore, she replied, with great affection and politeness, that it was, no doubt, very strange indeed; and that she was totally at a loss to conceive what the ridiculous person unknown could mean by it.
`Quite impossible to divine!' said Charity, with some sharpness, `though still, at the same time, you needn't be angry, my dear.'
`Thank you,' retorted Merry, singing at her needle. `I am quite aware of that, my love.'
`I am afraid your head is turned, you silly thing,' said Cherry.
`Do you know, my dear,' said Merry, with engaging candour, `that I have been afraid of that, myself, all along! So much incense and nonsense, and all the rest of it, is enough to turn a stronger head than mine. What a relief it must be to you, my dear, to be so very comfortable in that respect, and not to be worried by those odious men! How do you do it, Cherry?'
This artless inquiry might have led to turbulent results, but for the strong emotions of delight evinced by Bailey junior, whose relish in the turn the conversation had lately taken was so acute, that it impelled and forced him to the instantaneous performance of a dancing step, extremely difficult in its nature, and only to be achieved in a moment of ecstasy, which is commonly called The Frog's Hornpipe. A manifestation so lively, brought to their immediate recollection the great virtuous precept, `Keep up appearances whatever you do,' in which they had been educated. They forbore at once, and jointly signified to Mr. Bailey that if he should presume to practise that figure any more in their presence, they would instantly acquaint Mrs. Todgers with the fact, and would demand his condign punishment at the hands of that lady. The young gentleman having expressed the bitterness of his contrition by affecting to wipe away scalding tears with his apron, and afterwards feigning to wring a vast amount of water from that garment, held the door open while Miss Charity passed out: and so that damsel went in state up-stairs to receive her mysterious adorer.
By some strange occurrence of favourable circumstances he had found out the drawing-room, and was sitting there alone.
`Ah, cousin!' he said. `Here I am, you see. You thought I was lost, I'll be bound. Well! how do you find yourself by this time?'
Miss Charity replied that she was quite well, and gave Mr. Jonas Chuzzlewit her hand.
`That's right,' said Mr. Jonas, `and you've got over the fatigues of the journey have you? I say. How's the other one?'
`My sister is very well, I believe,' returned the young lady. `I have not heard her complain of any indisposition, sir. Perhaps you would like to see her, and ask her yourself?'
`No, no cousin!' said Mr. Jonas, sitting down beside her on the window-seat.
`Don't be in a hurry. There's no occasion for that, you know. What a cruel girl you are!'
`It's impossible for you to know,' said Cherry, `whether I am or not.'
`Well, perhaps it is,' said Mr. Jonas. `I say! Did you think I was lost?
You haven't told me that.'
`I didn't think at all about it,' answered Cherry.
`Didn't you though?' said Jonas, pondering upon this strange reply.
`--Did the other one?'
`I am sure it's impossible for me to say what my sister may, or may not have thought on such a subject,' cried Cherry. `She never said anything to me about it, one way or other.'