Van Berg had been left to himself but a little time before Stanton and Mr.Burleigh came out upon the piazza,and the three gentlemen sat down for a quiet chat.
"Well,"remarked mine host,with a sigh of relief such as a pilot might heave after taking his ship round a perilous point;"well,thanks to Miss Burton's good sense,the affair has ended without any trouble.In a house like this,'Satan is finding mischief still'whenever my back is turned,and sometimes he threatens to get up a row right under my nose,as in this instance.I was a 'blarsted fool,'as our English friends have it,not to know that Mrs.
Chint's drama,although beginning in comedy,might end in tragedy of my losing some good paying boarders.Still further did I demonstrate the length of my ears by even imagining it possible that Miss Burton would take five hundred,or five hundred thousand dollars in any such circumstances.But the whole thing was done in a jiffy,and Mrs.Chints was possessed to have her 'tableau vivant.'Lively picture wasn't it?Still,if Miss Mayhew,when appealed to by Mrs.Chints,had confirmed my doubts,I would have tried to stop the nonsense at any cost.""Did Miss Mayhew advise the step?"asked Stanton.
"Oh,no!She was non-committal.She acted as if it were none of her affair,save as it might afford her a little amusement.But these rows are no light matters to us poor publicans,who must please every one and keep the whole menagerie in order.Mr.Chints was swearing up and down his room that he had been made a fool of.
Mrs.Chints was for leaving to-morrow morning,declaring that she would not endure such airs from a school-teacher.They are rich and have a number of friends who are coming soon,and so my mind was full of 'strange oaths'also,at my prospective loss,when this blessed little woman appears,taps at their door,enters like the angel into the lion's den,and shuts their mouths by some magic all her own.And now they're going to stay;Mr.Chints will give the five hundred to the Children's Aid Society,all is serene and I'm happy,so much so that I'll smoke another of your good cigars,Mr.Stanton.""Certainly,half-a-dozen if you wish.How do you imagine she quieted the unruly beasts?""Oh,I suppose she got around them through the child--somewhat as she won over my wife this afternoon by means of our cross baby.
It's teething,you know--and yet how should you young chaps know anything about babies!No matter,your time will come.This promenading the piazza with lovely creatures who have been half the afternoon at their toilets is all very nice;but wait till you have weathered innumerable squalls in the dead of night--then you'll learn that teething-time in a household is like going around Cape Horn.Well,to return from your future to my present.When so good-natured a man as I am gets into a sympathetic mood with old King Herod,you can imagine what a state the mother's nerves must be in who has to stand it night and day.But as Miss Burton had been commended to my care,I felt that I was in duty bound to introduce her to my wife and show her some attention.So I said to my wife,this afternoon,'I'm going to bring a young lady in to see you.'
'Do you think I'm in a condition to entertain company?'she asked,with a faint suggestion of hard cider in her tone.'Well,my dear,'I expostulated,'it was just the same yesterday,and will be a little more so to-morrow,and I feel that I shall be remiss if I delay any longer.''Oh,very well,'she said,as if it were a tooth that must come out sooner or later,'since the matter must be attended to,let us have it over at once.'But bless you,it wasn't over till supper-time.As I brought the young lady in,the baby waked out of a five-minutes'nap that had cost about an hour's rocking,and I thought the roof would come off.My wife looked cross and worried--well,it was prose,gentlemen,prose--not the poetry of life;and I said to myself,'I suppose I have about made it certain that this young woman will live and die an old maid by giving her this glimpse behind the scenes.I thought the ladies could get on better without me than with me,so I bowed myself out,glad to escape the din;and I supposed Miss Burton would say a few pleasant things in the direction of Mrs.Burleigh,which she,poor woman,might not be able to hear,and then she would bow herself out,also glad to escape.An hour and a half later I went back to see if I could not coax my wife away for a drive,and what do you suppose I saw?""The baby in convulsions,"said Stanton.
"Give it up,"added Van Berg.