`No, darling; but you are making more progress towards that saintly condition than I like; for, all these two hours, I have been thinking of you and wanting to catch your eye, and you were so absorbed in your devotions that you had not even a glance to spare for me--I declare, it is enough to make one jealous of one's Maker--which is very wrong, you know; so don't excite such wicked passions again, for my soul's sake.'
`I will give my whole heart and soul to my Maker if I can,' I answered, `and not one atom more of it to you than he allows. What are you, sir, that you should set yourself up as a god, and presume to dispute con of my heart with Him to whom I owe all I have and all I am, every blessing I ever did or ever can enjoy yourself among the rest--if you are a blessing, which I am half included to doubt.'
`Don't be so hard upon me, Helen; and don't pinch my arm so, you're squeezing your fingers into the bone.'
`Arthur,' continued I, relaxing my hold of his arm, `you don't love me half as much as I do you; and yet, if you loved me far less than you do, I would not complain, provided you loved your Maker more. I should rejoice to see you, at any time, so deeply absorbed in your devotions that you had not a single thought to spare for me. But, indeed, I should lose nothing by the change, for the more you loved your God the more deep and pure and true would be your love to me.'
At this he only laughed, and kissed my hand, calling me a sweet enthusiast. Then taking off his hat, he added--`But look here, Helen--what can a man do with such a head as this?'
The head looked right enough, but when he placed my hand on the top of it, it sunk in a bed of curls, rather alarmingly low, especially in the middle.
`You see I was not made to be a saint,' said he, laughing. `If God meant me to be religious, why didn't He give me a proper organ of veneration?'
`You are like the servant,' I replied, `who instead of employing his one talent in his master's service, restored it to him unimproved, alleging, as an excuse, that he knew him "to be a hard man, reaping where he had not sown and gathering where he had not strawed." Of him, to whom less is given, less will be required; but our utmost exertions are required of us all. You are not with out the capacity of veneration, and faith and hope, and con science and reason, and every other requisite to a Christian's character, if you choose to employ them; but all our talents in crease in the using, and every faculty, both good and bad, strengthens by exercise; therefore, if you choose to use the bad--or those which tend to evil till they become your masters--and neglect the good till they dwindle away, you have only yourself to blame. But you have talents, Arthur--natural endowments, both of heart and mind, and temper such as many a better Christian would be glad to possess--if you would only employ them in God's service, I should never expect to see you a devotee, but it is quite possible to be a good Christian without ceasing to be a happy, merry-hearted man.'
`You speak like an oracle, Helen, and all you say is indisputably true; but listen here: I am hungry, and I see before me a good substantial dinner: I am told that, if I abstain from this today, I shall have a sumptuous feast to-morrow, consisting of all manner of dainties and delicacies Now in the first place, I should be loath to wait till to-morrow, when I have the means of appeasing my hunger already before me; in the second place, the solid viands of tray are more to my taste than the dainties that are promised me; in the third place, I don't see to-morrow's banquet, and how can I tell that it is not all a fable, got up by the greasy-faced fellow that is advising me to abstain, in order that he may have all the good victuals to himself? in the fourth place, this table must be spread for somebody, and, as Solomon says, "Who can eat, or who else can hasten hereunto more than I?" and finally, with your leave, I'll sit down and satisfy my cravings to-day, and leave to-morrow to shift for itself--who knows but what I may secure both this and that?'
`But you are not required to abstain from the substantial dinner of to-day; you are only advised to partake of these coarser viands in such moderation as not to incapacitate you from enjoying the choicer banquet of to-morrow. If, regardless of that counsel, you choose to make a beast of yourself now, and overeat and overdrink yourself till you turn the good victuals into poison, who is to blame if, hereafter, while you are suffering the torments of yesterday's gluttony and drunkenness, you see more temperate men sitting down to enjoy themselves at that splendid entertainment which you are unable to taste?'
`Most true, my patron saint; but again, our friend Solomon says,--"There is nothing better for a man than to eat and to drink, and to be merry."'
`And again,' returned I, `he says, "Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart and in the right of thine eyes; but know thou that, for all these things, God will bring thee into judgment."'
`Well, but Helen, I'm sure I've been very good these last few weeks. bat have you seen amiss in me? and what would you have me to do?'
`Nothing--more than you do, Arthur: your actions are all right, so far; but I would have your thoughts changed; I would have you to fortify yourself against temptation, and not to call evil good, and good, evil;
I should wish you to think more deeply, to look farther, and aim higher than you do.'
We now stood before our own door, and I said no more; but, with an ardent and tearful embrace, I left him, and went into the house, and upstairs to take off my bonnet and mantle. I wished to say nothing more on that subject at the time, lest I should disgust him with both it and me.