Meantime, my brain was on fire with indignation, and my heart seemed ready to burst from its prison with conflicting passions. I regarded my two fair neighbours with a feeling of abhorrence and loathing I scarcely endeavoured to conceal: I was rallied from several quarters for my abstraction and ungallant neglect of the ladies; but I cared little for that: all I cared about, besides that one grand subject of my thoughts, was to see the cups travel up to the tea-tray, and not come down again. I thought Mr Millward never would cease telling us that he was no tea-drinker, and that it was highly injurious to keep loading the stomach with slops to the exclusion of more wholesome sustenance, and so give himself time to finish his fourth cup.
At length it was over; and I rose and left the table and the guests, without a word of apology--I could endure their company no longer. I rushed out to cool my brain in the balmy evening air, and to compose my mind, or indulge my passionate thoughts in the solitude of the garden.
To avoid being seen from the windows, I went down a quiet little avenue, that skirted one side of the enclosure, at the bottom of which was a seat embowered in roses and honeysuckles. Here I sat down to think over the virtues and wrongs of the lady of Wildfell Hall; but I had not been so occupied two minutes, before voices and laughter, and glimpses of moving objects through the trees, informed me that the whole company had turned out to take an aIring in the garden too, However, I nestled up in a corner of the bower, and hoped to retain possession of it, secure alike from observation and intrusion. But no--confound it--there was someone coming down the avenue! Why couldn't they enjoy the flowers. and sunshine of the open garden, and leave that sunless nook to me, and the gnats and midges?
But peeping through my fragrant screen of interwoven branches to discover who the intruders were (for a murmur of voices told me it was more than one), my vexation instantly subsided, and far other feelings agitated my still unquiet soul; for there was Mrs Graham, slowly moving down the walk with Arthur by her ride, and no one else. Why were they alone?
Had the poison of detracting tongues already spread through all? and had they all turned their backs upon her? I now recollected having seen Mrs Wilson, in the early part of the evening, edging her chair close up to my mother, and bending forward, evidently in the delivery of some important, confidential intelligence; and from the incessant wagging of her head, the frequent distortions of her wrinkled physiognomy, and the winking and malicious twinkle of her little ugly eyes, I judged it was some spicy piece of scandal that engaged her powers; and from the cautious privacy of the communication, I supposed some person then present was the luckless object of her calumnies; and from all these tokens, together with my mother's looks and gestures of mingled horror and incredulity, I now concluded that object to have been Mrs Graham. I did not emerge from my place of concealment, till she had nearly reaChed the bottom of the walk, lest my appearance should drive her away; and when I did step forward, she stood still and seemed inclined to turn back as it was.
Oh, don't let us disturb you, Mr Markham!' said she. `We came here to seek retirement ourselves; not to intrude on your seclusion.'
`I am no hermit, Mrs Graham--though I own it looks rather like it, to absent myself in this uncourteous fashion from my guests.'
`I feared you were unwell,' said she, with a look of real concern.
`I was rather, but it's over now. Do sit here a little, and rest, and tell me how you like this arbour,' said I, and lifting Arthur by the shoulders, I planted him in the middle of the seat by way of securing his mamma, who, acknowledging it to be a tempting place of refuge, threw herself back in one corner, while I took possession of the other.
But that word refuge disturbed me. Had their unkindness then really driven her to seek for peace in solitude?
`Why have they left you alone?' I asked.
`It is I who have left them,' was the smiling rejoinder. `I was wearied to death with small talk--nothing wears me out like that. I cannot imagine how they can go on as they do.'
I could not help smiling at the serious depth of her wonderment.
`Is it that they think it a duty to be continually talking,' pursued she; `and so never pause to think, but fill up with aimless trifles and vain repetitions, when subjects of real interest fail to present themselves?--or do they really take a pleasure in such discourse?'
Very likely they do,' said I: `their shallow minds can hold no great ideas, and their light heads are carried away by trivialities that would not move a better furnished skill;--and their only alternative to such disCourse is to plunge over head and ears into the slough of scandal--which is their chief delight.'
`Not all of them surely?' cried the lady, astonished at the bitterness of my remark.
`No, certainly; I exonerate my sister from such degraded tastes--and my mother too, if you included her in your animadversions.'
`I meant no animadversions against anyone, and certainly in- tended no disrespectful allusions to your mother. I have known some sensible persons great adepts in that style of conversation, when circumstances impelled them to it; but it is a gift I cannot boast the possession of. I kept up my attention, on this occasion, as long as I could, but when my powers were exhausted, I stole away, to seek a few minutes' repose in this quiet walk. 1 hate talking where there is no exchange of ideas or sentiments, and no good given or received.'
`Well,' said I, `if ever I trouble you with my loquacity, tell me so at once, and I promise not to be offended; for I possess the faculty of enjoying the company of those I--of my friends as well in silence as in conversation.'
`I don't quite believe you; but if it were so, you would exactly suit me for a companion.'