You saw with regret the sad habits he was contracting, I know; and I know you did your utmost to deliver him from them,--but without success, until I came to your assistance. I told him, in few words, that I could not bear to see him degrade himself so, and that I should cease too matter what I told him,--but you see the reformation I have wrought; and you ought to thank me for it.'
I rose, and rang for the nurse.
`But I desire no thanks,' she continued, `all the return I ask is, that you will take care of him when I am gone, and not, by harshness and neglect, drive him back to his old courses.'
I was almost sick with passion, but Rachel was now at the door:
I pointed to the children, for I could not trust myself to speak: she took them away, and I followed.
`Will you, Helen?' continued the speaker.
I gave her a look that blighted the malicious smile on her face--or checked it, at least for a moment--and departed. In the anteroom I met Mr. Hargrave. He saw I was in no humour to be spoken to, and suffered me to pass without a word; but when, after a few minutes" seclusion in the library, I had regained my composure, and was returning, to join Mrs. Hargrave and Milicent, whom I had just heard come down stairs and go into the drawing-room,--I found him there still, lingering in the dimly lighted apartment, and evidently waiting for me.
`Mrs. Huntingdon,' said he as I passed, `will you allow me one word?'
`What is it then?--be quick if you please.'
`I offended you this morning; and I cannot live under your displeasure.'
`Then, go, and sin no more," replied I, turning away.
`No, no!' said he hastily, setting himself before me-- `pardon me, but I must have your forgiveness. I leave you to-morrow, and I may not have an opportunity of speaking to you again. I was wrong, to forget myself--and you, as I did; but let me implore you to forget and forgive my rash presumption, and think of me as if those words had never been spoken; for, believe me, I regret them deeply, and the loss of your esteem is too severe a penalty--I cannot bear it.'
`Forgetfulness is not to be purchased with a wish; and I cannot bestow my esteem on all who desire it, unless they deserve it too.'
`I shall think my life well spent in labouring to deserve it, if you will but pardon this offence.--Will you?'
`Yes.'
`Yes? but that is coldly spoken. Give me your hand and I'll believe you.--You won't? Then, Mrs. Huntingdon, you do not forgive me!'
`Yes--here it is, and my forgiveness with it: only--sin no more.'
He pressed my cold hand with sentimental fervour, but said nothing, and stood aside to let me pass into the room, where all the company were now assembled. Mr. Grimsby was seated near the door: on seeing me enter almost immediately followed by Hargrave, he leered at me, with a glance of intolerable significance, as I passed. I looked him in the face, till he sullenly turned away, if not ashamed, at least confounded for the moment.
Meantime, Hattersley had seized Hargrave by the arm, and was whispering something in his ear--some coarse joke, no doubt, for the latter neither laughed nor spoke in answer, but, turning from him with a slight curl of the lip, disengaged himself and went to his mother, who `was telling Lord Lowborough how many reasons she had to be proud of her son.
Thank Heaven, they are all going to-morrow.