书城公版THE PICKWICK PAPERS
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第157章

"Here we are!" exclaimed that gentleman, emerging with his pretty companion from the corner; as he did so, it would have been hard to tell which was the redder in the face, he or the young lady with the black eyes.

"What an extraordinary thing it is, Winkle," said Mr.Pickwick, rather pettishly, "that you couldn't have taken your place before.""Not at all extraordinary," said Mr.Winkle.

"Well," said Mr.Pickwick, with a very expressive smile, as his eyes rested on Arabella, "well, I don't know that it was extraordinary, either, after all."However, there was no time to think more about the matter, for the fiddles and harp began in real earnest.Away went Mr.Pickwick--hands across--down the middle to the very end of the room, and half-way up the chimney, back again to the door--poussette everywhere--loud stamp on the ground--ready for the next couple--off again--all the figure over once more--another stamp to beat out the time--next couple, and the next, and the next again--never was such going! At last, after they had reached the bottom of the dance, and full fourteen couple after the old lady had retired in an exhausted state, and the clergyman's wife had been substituted in her stead, did that gentleman, when there was no demand whatever on his exertions, keep perpetually dancing in his place, to keep time to the music: smiling on his partner all the while with a blandness of demeanour which baffles all description.

Long before Mr.Pickwick was weary of dancing, the newly-married couple had retired from the scene.There was a glorious supper down-stairs, notwithstanding, and a good long sitting after it; and when Mr.Pickwick awoke, late the next morning, he had a confused recollection of having, severally and confidentially, invited somewhere about five-and-forty people to dine with him at the George and Vulture, the very first time they came to London; which Mr.Pickwick rightly considered a pretty certain indication of his having taken something besides exercise, on the previous night.

"And so your family has games in the kitchen to-night, my dear, has they?" inquired Sam of Emma.

"Yes, Mr.Weller," replied Emma; "we always have on Christmas eve.Master wouldn't neglect to keep it up on any account.""Your master's a wery pretty notion of keepin' anythin' up, my dear,"said Mr.Weller; "I never see such a sensible sort of man as he is, or such a reg'lar gen'l'm'n.""Oh, that he is!" said the fat boy, joining in the conversation; "don't he breed nice pork!" The fat youth gave a semi-cannibalic leer at Mr.Weller, as he thought of the roast legs and gravy.

"Oh, you've woke up, at last, have you?" said Sam.

The fat boy nodded.

"I'll tell you what it is, young boa constructer," said Mr.Weller, impressively; "if you don't sleep a little less, and exercise a little more, wen you comes to be a man you'll lay yourself open to the same sort of personal inconwenience as was inflicted on the old gen'l'm'n as wore the pigtail.""What did they do to him?" inquired the fat boy, in a faltering voice.

"I'm a-goin' to tell you," replied Mr.Weller; "he was one o' the largest patterns as was ever turned out--reg'lar fat man, as hadn't caught a glimpse of his own shoes for five-and-forty-year.""Lor'!" exclaimed Emma.

"No, that he hadn't, my dear," said Mr.Weller; "and if you'd put an exact model of his own legs on the dinin' table afore him, he wouldn't ha' known 'em.Well, he always walks to his office with a wery handsome gold watch-chain hanging out, about a foot and a quarter, and a gold watch in his fob pocket as was worth--I'm afraid to say how much, but as much as a watch can be--a large, heavy, round manafacter, as stout for a watch, as he was for a man, and with a big face in proportion.`You'd better not carry that 'ere watch,' says the old gen'l'm'n's friends, `you'll be robbed on it,' says they.`Shall I?' say he.`Yes, you will,' says they.`Vell,'

says he; `I should like to see the thief as could get this here watch out, for I'm blest if I ever can, it's such a tight fit,' says he; `and venever I wants to know what's o'clock, I'm obliged to stare into the bakers'

shops,' he says.Well, then he laughs as hearty as if he was a-goin' to pieces, and out he walks again' vith his powdered head and pigtail, and rolls down the Strand, vith the chain hangin' out furder than ever, and the great round watch almost bustin' through his grey kersey smalls.There warn't a pickpocket in all London as didn't take a pull at that chain, but the chain 'ud never break, and the watch 'ud never come out, so they soon got tried o' dragging such a heavy old gen'l'm'n along the pavement, and he'd go home and laugh till the pigtail wibrated like the penderlum of a Dutch clock.At last, one day the old gen'l'm'n was a rollin' along, and he sees a pickpocket as he know'd by sight, a-comin' up, arm in arm vith a little boy vith a wery large head.`Here's a game,' says the old gen'l'm'n to himself, `they're a-goin' to have another try, but it won't do!' So he begins a-chucklin' wery hearty, wen, all of a sudden, the little boy leaves hold of the pickpocket's arm, and rushes headforemost straight into the old gen'l'm'n's stomach, and for a moment doubles him right up vith the pain.`Murder!' says the old gen'l'm'n.`All right, sir,' says the pickpocket, a wisperin' in his ear.And wen he come straight again, the watch and chain was gone, and what's worse than that, the old gen'l'm'n's digestion was all wrong ever artervards, to the wery last day of his life;so just you look about you, young feller, and take care you don't get too fat."As Mr.Weller concluded this moral tale, with which the fat boy appeared much affected, they all three repaired to the large kitchen, in which the family were by this time assembled, according to annual custom on Christmas eve, observed by old Wardle's forefathers from time immemorial.