书城公版WOMEN IN LOVE
15317200000062

第62章

`How fearfully good! How frightfully nice if you could!' cried Gudrun warmly, her colour flushing up again.It made the blood stir in his veins, the subtle way she turned to him and infused her gratitude into his body.

`Where's Birkin?' he said, his eyes twinkling.`He might help me to get it down.'

`But what about your hand? Isn't it hurt?' asked Gudrun, rather muted, as if avoiding the intimacy.This was the first time the hurt had been mentioned.The curious way she skirted round the subject sent a new, subtle caress through his veins.He took his hand out of his pocket.It was bandaged.

He looked at it, then put it in his pocket again.Gudrun quivered at the sight of the wrapped up paw.

`Oh I can manage with one hand.The canoe is as light as a feather,'

he said.`There's Rupert! -- Rupert!'

Birkin turned from his social duties and came towards them.

`What have you done to it?' asked Ursula, who had been aching to put the question for the last half hour.

`To my hand?' said Gerald.`I trapped it in some machinery.'

`Ugh!' said Ursula.`And did it hurt much?'

`Yes,' he said.`It did at the time.It's getting better now.It crushed the fingers.'

`Oh,' cried Ursula, as if in pain, `I hate people who hurt themselves.

I can feel it.' And she shook her hand.

`What do you want?' said Birkin.

The two men carried down the slim brown boat, and set it on the water.

`You're quite sure you'll be safe in it?' Gerald asked.

`Quite sure,' said Gudrun.`I wouldn't be so mean as to take it, if there was the slightest doubt.But I've had a canoe at Arundel, and I assure you I'm perfectly safe.'

So saying, having given her word like a man, she and Ursula entered the frail craft, and pushed gently off.The two men stood watching them.

Gudrun was paddling.She knew the men were watching her, and it made her slow and rather clumsy.The colour flew in her face like a flag.

`Thanks awfully,' she called back to him, from the water, as the boat slid away.`It's lovely -- like sitting in a leaf.'

He laughed at the fancy.Her voice was shrill and strange, calling from the distance.He watched her as she paddled away.There was something childlike about her, trustful and deferential, like a child.He watched her all the while, as she rowed.And to Gudrun it was a real delight, in make-belief, to be the childlike, clinging woman to the man who stood there on the quay, so good-looking and efficient in his white clothes, and moreover the most important man she knew at the moment.She did not take any notice of the wavering, indistinct, lambent Birkin, who stood at his side.One figure at a time occupied the field of her attention.

The boat rustled lightly along the water.They passed the bathers whose striped tents stood between the willows of the meadow's edge, and drew along the open shore, past the meadows that sloped golden in the light of the already late afternoon.Other boats were stealing under the wooded shore opposite, they could hear people's laughter and voices.But Gudrun rowed on towards the clump of trees that balanced perfect in the distance, in the golden light.

The sisters found a little place where a tiny stream flowed into the lake, with reeds and flowery marsh of pink willow herb, and a gravelly bank to the side.Here they ran delicately ashore, with their frail boat, the two girls took off their shoes and stockings and went through the water's edge to the grass.The tiny ripples of the lake were warm and clear, they lifted their boat on to the bank, and looked round with joy.They were quite alone in a forsaken little stream-mouth, and on the knoll just behind was the clump of trees.

`We will bathe just for a moment,' said Ursula, `and then we'll have tea.'

They looked round.Nobody could notice them, or could come up in time to see them.In less than a minute Ursula had thrown off her clothes and had slipped naked into the water, and was swimming out.Quickly, Gudrun joined her.They swam silently and blissfully for a few minutes, circling round their little stream-mouth.Then they slipped ashore and ran into the grove again, like nymphs.

`How lovely it is to be free,' said Ursula, running swiftly here and there between the tree trunks, quite naked, her hair blowing loose.The grove was of beech-trees, big and splendid, a steel-grey scaffolding of trunks and boughs, with level sprays of strong green here and there, whilst through the northern side the distance glimmered open as through a window.

When they had run and danced themselves dry, the girls quickly dressed and sat down to the fragrant tea.They sat on the northern side of the grove, in the yellow sunshine facing the slope of the grassy hill, alone in a little wild world of their own.The tea was hot and aromatic, there were delicious little sandwiches of cucumber and of caviare, and winy cakes.

`Are you happy, Prune?' cried Ursula in delight, looking at her sister.

`Ursula, I'm perfectly happy,' replied Gudrun gravely, looking at the westering sun.

`So am I.'

When they were together, doing the things they enjoyed, the two sisters were quite complete in a perfect world of their own.And this was one of the perfect moments of freedom and delight, such as children alone know, when all seems a perfect and blissful adventure.

When they had finished tea, the two girls sat on, silent and serene.

Then Ursula, who had a beautiful strong voice, began to sing to herself, softly: `Annchen von Tharau.' Gudrun listened, as she sat beneath the trees, and the yearning came into her heart.Ursula seemed so peaceful and sufficient unto herself, sitting there unconsciously crooning her song, strong and unquestioned at the centre of her own universe.And Gudrun felt herself outside.Always this desolating, agonised feeling, that she was outside of life, an onlooker, whilst Ursula was a partaker, caused Gudrun to suffer from a sense of her own negation, and made her, that she must always demand the other to be aware of her, to be in connection with her.