"'I haven't a spot on me! Goodness of material ought to be appreciated. I am of real silk, and have strings to me.'
"'- On the wedding day, but no longer; you don't keep your color in the wash.' This is Mr. Pipe-head who is speaking. 'Mr. de Boots is water-tight, of strong leather, and yet very delicate; he can creak, and clank with his spurs, and has an Italian physiognomy-'"
"But they ought to speak in verses," said Anna, "for I've heard that's the most charming way of all."
"They can do that too," replied grandpapa; "and if the public demands it, they will talk in that way. Just look at little Miss
Glove, how she's pointing her fingers!
"'Could I but have my love,
Who then so happy as Glove!
Ah!
If I from him must part,
I'm sure 'twill break my heart!'
'Bah!'
The last word was spoken by Mr. Pipe-head; and now it's Mr.
Waistcoat's turn:
"'O Glove, my own dear,
Though it cost thee a tear,
Thou must be mine,
For Holger Danske has sworn it!'
"Mr. de Boots, hearing this, kicks up, jingles his spurs, and knocks down three of the side-scenes."
"That's exceedingly charming!" cried little Anna.
"Silence! silence!" said grandpapa. "Silent approbation will show that you are the educated public in the stalls. Now Miss Glove sings her great song with startling effects:
"'I can't see, heigho!
And therefore I'll crow!
Kikkeriki, in the lofty hall!'
"Now comes the exciting part, little Anna. This is the most important in all the play. Mr. Waistcoat undoes himself, and addresses his speech to you, that you may applaud; but leave it alone,- that's considered more genteel.
"'I am driven to extremities! Take care of yourself! Now comes the plot! You are the Pipe-head, and I am the good head- snap! there you go!"
"Do you notice this, little Anna?" asked grandpapa. "That's a most charming comedy. Mr. Waistcoat seized the old Pipe-head and put him in his pocket; there he lies, and the Waistcoat says:
"'You are in my pocket; you can't come out till you promise to unite me to your daughter Glove on the left. I hold out my right hand.'"
"That's awfully pretty," said little Anna.
"And now the old Pipe-head replies:
"'Though I'm all ear,
Very stupid I appear:
Where's my humor? Gone, I fear,
And I feel my hollow stick's not here,
Ah! never, my dear,
Did I feel so queer.
Oh! pray let me out,
And like a lamb led to slaughter
I'll betroth you, no doubt,
To my daughter.'"
"Is the play over already?" asked little Anna.
"By no means," replied grandpapa. "It's only all over with Mr. de Boots. Now the lovers kneel down, and one of them sings:
"'Father!'
and the other,
'Come, do as you ought to do,-
Bless your son and daughter.'
And they receive his blessing, and celebrate their wedding, and all the pieces of furniture sing in chorus,
"'Klink! clanks!
A thousand thanks;
And now the play is over!'
"And now we'll applaud," said grandpapa. "We'll call them all out, and the pieces of furniture too, for they are of mahogany."
"And is not our play just as good as those which the others have in the real theatre?"
"Our play is much better," said grandpapa. "It is shorter, the performers are natural, and it has passed away the interval before tea-time."