`Swine,' pursued Mr Wopsle, in his deepest voice, and pointing his fork at my blushes, as if he were mentioning my christian name; `Swine were the companions of the prodigal. The gluttony of Swine is put before us, as an example to the young.' (I thought this pretty well in him who had been praising up the pork for being so plump and juicy.) `What is detestable in a pig, is more detestable in a boy.'
`Or girl,' suggested Mr Hubble.
`Of course, or girl, Mr Hubble,' assented Mr Wopsle, rather irritably, `but there is no girl present.'
`Besides,' said Mr Pumblechook, turning sharp on me, `think what you've got to be grateful for. If you'd been born a Squeaker--'
`He was , if ever a child was,' said my sister, most emphatically.
Joe gave me some more gravy.
`Well, but I mean a four-footed Squeaker,' said Mr Pumblechook. `If you had been born such, would you have been here now? Now you--'
`Unless in that form,' said Mr Wopsle, nodding towards the dish.
`But I don't mean in that form, sir,' returned Mr Pumblechook, who had an objection to being interrupted; `I mean, enjoying himself with his elders and betters, and improving himself with their conversation, and rolling in the lap of luxury. Would he have been doing that? No, he wouldn't. And what would have been your destination?' turning on me again. `You would have been disposed of for so many shillings according to the market price of the article, and Dunstable the butcher would have come up to you as you lay in your straw, and he would have whipped you under his left arm, and with his right he would have tucked up his frock to get a penknife from out of his waistcoat - pocket, and he would have shed your blood and had your life. No bringing up by hand then. Not a bit of it!'
Joe offered me more gravy, which I was afraid to take.
`He was a world of trouble to you, ma'am,' said Mrs Hubble, commiserating my sister.
`Trouble?' echoed my sister; `trouble?' and then entered on a fearful catalogue of all the illnesses I had been guilty of, and all the acts of sleeplessness I had committed, and all the high places I had tumbled from, and all the low places I had tumbled into, and all the injuries I had done myself, and all the times she had wished me in my grave, and I had contumaciously refused to go there.
I think the Romans must have aggravated one another very much, with their noses. Perhaps, they became the restless people they were, in consequence.
Anyhow, Mr Wopsle's Roman nose so aggravated me, during the recital of my misdemeanours, that I should have liked to pull it until he howled.
But, all I had endured up to this time, was nothing in comparison with the awful feelings that took possession of me when the pause was broken which ensued upon my sister's recital, and in which pause everybody had looked at me (as I felt painfully conscious) with indignation and abhorrence.
`Yet,' said Mr Pumblechook, leading the company gently back to the theme from which they had strayed, `Pork - regarded as biled - is rich, too;ain't it?'
`Have a little brandy, uncle,' said my sister.
O Heavens, it had come at last! He would find it was weak, he would say it was weak, and I was lost! I held tight to the leg of the table under the cloth, with both hands, and awaited my fate.